Emotional support appears in many guises and various times in life. Sometimes we have to ask for it and at other times it is silently given and offered from selfless hearts.
How do we define what support is? Is it the feeling that someone believes in you, or will stand next to you no matter what, the sense of being valued that allows you to face the journey ahead of you, the knowing that there is someone who will be there for you in a heartbeat, or the simplicity of another person just understanding you and allowing you to be as you are? The idea being supported and being of support, is varied and relevant to each person in their time of need.
For me it is the feeling that somebody is totally present and giving their time, care, energy, and if asked for, some guidance. More often it is a person holding a space so I can process what I need to as I talk out the chaotic muddle of the mind, the beliefs and the stuff that create the patterns that I am still discovering that were planted in my DNA long before my conception. It is the complete confidence that the person who is with me on that level, has no other agenda, hidden motive or purpose apart from sharing a sacred moment in the act of emotional support.
Whatever we are challenged with, experiencing, learning from, lost in or confused about, there will always be someone there with a helping hand and a listening heart to help you navigate your way, if you let them. However there is a criteria that is not just important, but an absolute necessity in all cases of emotional support.
Discernment and support go hand in hand. There is an unspoken code of conduct that needs to and must be engaged in. When we open up for emotional support, the vulnerabilities that we often keep deeply hidden and buried away from the eyes of the world, come racing and raging to the surface. There must be a feeling of safety with the person who is there for you.
To offer support from a heart centre, is one of honouring and sacredness that two hearts share such a private moment, that it can never be shared with others outside of that moment of truth, exposure and reality.
The times that support matter the most are the times when we don’t know how to ask, as it seems too big, we are too lost, we are too hard on ourselves, and basically when we feel we have nothing to offer, or we are not enough or perhaps we feel we are being annoying.
The people who step up to that moment are the ones who have true courage and compassion. They never want to ‘fix’ the situation, they are just holding a space for you to release, let go and untangle the mess that the mind has created. They listen without speaking, hold you when you need a hug, hand you tissues, make you cup of teas, and pick up the slack so you can feel and move through whatever you are addressing, completely and safely.
A mantra that has woven the fabric of my life for many years has been, ‘How can I be of service and support on this day?’ There are opportunities around us constantly to be in that supportive role, The thing we have to be careful of as many ‘givers’ will be aware, is that sometimes the act of being supportive for others, can perhaps send a message that you are so strong that you don’t need it yourself.
Every one of us in our human journey needs support at some time. It is part of the dance, the balance that giving and receiving brings into our life. Choose your supportive friends wisely. When you gift that level of trust to another soul, all you ask in return is for the respect that they value what you are sharing with them. There is wonderful healing when emotional support is so highly treasured. This confidence and trust enriches lives, friendships and relationships.
Be a trustworthy supporter and when you are called forward to fill this role, do so from the knowing that you are holding a sacred moment for all involved. Respect and understanding of the powerful healing of support, will allow you to have more compassion for the humanness that we all are dealing with in these enormous energetic times of change.
Namaste
