Medicine For Your Spirit

SELF ASSESMENT AND SELF ACCEPTANCE

At what stage do we take a rest from all the self-assessment, self-judgment and self-criticism and dive deeply into self-acceptance and self-appreciation.
 

Recently, I was doing some work with a client and saw how stuck this person was in the energy of self-assessment, and self-judgment. Any attempts at self-acceptance, or self-appreciation, were very quickly debunked and denied.

The continual self-analysis was not leaving any space for the softness of self acceptance to be present. Even in a moment of happiness, the question arose…… “Should I be this happy right now?” This scenario was running through the belief system of this person as a constant companion, continually searching for the ‘wrongs’ within.

We are assessed on all levels through our lives, we are judged at every stage of development whether by others or our selves, we place so much emphasis on listening to other people tell us how “wrong” we are, or what we need to do to be better, or how others think we need to change to fit in with their beliefs and ways of life.
 

Parents, through their care of us , are our first critics, then we have school systems following up with their ‘agenda’s on how we should be performing to be ‘normal or average, followed up by employers, lovers, partners and then, our own children.

With each comment, we go into a level of self assessment, and spend so much energy trying to fit into another’s ‘ideal’ of how we ‘should’ be in this world.

Our lives are filled with all these moments and we seek validation continually so our sense of self, will feel accepted…….. And this is by the world outside our own hearts.

We will never achieve the state of perfection that we seem to strive for, or what the world around us seems to want us to strive for. What we have to really understand is that we are perfect as we are in this moment of time. That everything in our life is perfect in this moment of time. No matter how challenging it may appear to be, it is divinely perfect. The learning’s, the shifts, the awareness’s, the insights, the truths that we can find, and bring into our life, are there, perfect with all their imperfections.

When we truly embrace self acceptance, the depth of loving who we are in any moment of time, alters everything about the way we feel towards ourselves and eventually others.
 

Remember the times in life where you are filled with joy, bliss, love, contentment, connection and how that makes you feel. There is no ‘assessment’ around those feelings, just acceptance, yet when we experience doubt, sadness, guilt, blame, fear, we immediately feel we have to assess how, what, where ,when and why?

We readily accept the feeling and experiences of euphoria, yet we get stuck in trying to understand why we feel the heavier or denser aspects of our selves. We do need to observe these aspects of ourselves and sometimes we can just allow them to be, to flow through without having to attach so much mental activity to each feeling.

Sometimes we need to look deeper so we can alter things, however are we  really  altering or is it a deeper sense of accepting that these feelings are parts of us that we need to love and embrace, allowing them to not run our life, but to bring the shades of colour to everything we are.

When we observe the comedians of the world, they appear to be funny, quick witted, and joyful, however many live their personal life on the edge of depression. They understand and allow that part of them, to strengthen their work.

We can do that. When we acknowledge our foibles, we can then use them to allow us to be stronger, more complete. We enter self acceptance, and that allows us to shine. Can we love the parts of ourselves that are not so likeable, as much as we love the parts of us that we show to the world every day?

Self assessment is a wonderful tool and exercise to go deep, but don’t allow it to run or rule your life. Allow it to be the gateway into the beauty of self-acceptance and self-appreciation in all levels in life.

Engaging in this allows us to be more accepting of what ever is happening in the world, with society, with our loved ones. We begin to feel more connected to life and that initiates another level of kindness towards our selves and others.
 

This sense of true self-acceptance comes from a space of real love. Our spirit, our divinity, the universal intelligence, the ‘God/Goddess”, loves us in every moment, no matter what. If we are a spark of that greatness, then we must have that capacity to enter into self-acceptance of ourselves.

Imagine how life would be to grow up knowing how to totally accept yourself. Your flaws, weaknesses, funny ways, and all the amazing things as well. To focus on the qualities that bring you peace, that keep you strong in yourself, to know that if another doesn’t ‘get’ you, it doesn’t matter, because you get you.

My client thought that the way to self-acceptance was through consistent self-assessment. We absolutely need to do this, however, you also have to enjoy and sit in the beauty of self-acceptance to see how far all your inner work has brought you.
 

By understanding and accepting our weaknesses, our flaws, the parts of us that perhaps get in the way of our deep brilliant light, we bring all that we are into this world. We are able to offer ourselves as complete, unique, exquisite beings  that have a beautiful place and purpose to live out. All we simply have to do… is be all that we are”.

Namaste